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my older brother used this accunt, and now he let me use it. so get used to me1 beaver-beaver is my frend and you mes with me you get him to make fun of you!

Peter Turner @Minty-Hippo

29, Male




Joined on 11/17/06

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Minty-Hippo's News

Posted by Minty-Hippo - April 21st, 2010

So, Saturday, I got a ride from work, and the co-worker that usually gives me rides says, hey wanna get high? I've been smoking weed pretty lightly recently, and figured sure, why the hell not, I could do with a buzz, and then sleep in tommorow. Well, he takes me to his friends place, and comes down with a huge ass bong, and I have never took a hit from a bong before, only pieces, so I figured, hell why not it should be the same right? Wrong.

He filled it, and I hit that shit hard, I then started to feel like I was standing in the ocean, and the water was pushing me side to side, no cold or anything like that mind you, just the sensation of something rocking me back and forth, slowly pushing me harder and harder. I then blacked out pretty fierce, remember my throat was burning, and being asked if I needed a drink, I was like yeah... I guess, and I drank down a glass of water, I then sat there listening to him tell me about some stupid shit like, showing me pictures of this huge ass joint he rolled, and that his friend smoked in one sitting so I was sitting there trying to make idle conversation, and then he was like... dude you ok? you need to go home? I said yeah, definently, and on the car ride back, everything in my periphial vision was moving faster then what was dead ahead of me.

I remember mumbling some stupid shit about god, and parasites in my body, or some shit like that, and then I kept trying to give him a hand job. He kept pushing me away, and saying dude... Stop that shit, but I guess I was so far gone, that I started to babble about how it's ok I'm straight, but I kept trying. In my head, I came to the conclusion, that I had always been like this, and my life was one long strain of un-concious thoughts, and I kept trying to do worse and worse things, to shock my mind back into reality, I even at some point contemplated opening the door and tumbling out. But somewhere deep in my head a voice kept saying, no, thats a stupid idea your gonna get yourself killed.

well, I got home, and he sped off, probably tweaking out just as much as I am, and freaking out that I kept trying to give him a hand job. I started to roam around the outside of the house, mumbling to myself, all the shit I used to say as a kid, stuff like, gonna get 'stricted, and all these weird OCD mantras I used to chant to myself to make the void stop. (It's what I dub it now) I then remember punching a fence because the pain felt good, it felt good to feel something at all (another thing I remember doing from my youth, as well as biting the webbing between my pointer finger and my thumb.) I roamed my way into the house, and puked in the toilet, after arguing with my roommate over weather or not I was falling asleep on the couch (coupled with him threatening to stick my hand in water while I slept) I passed out on the bathroom floor, he woke me up a few moments later, and I woke up again in my room.

I spent all of sunday trying to piece together what happened (at work to mind you) And had a short conversation with my room mate where I determined what actually happened once I got there (apparently, I made it into the house first, and then went back outside to "find" my bag ((Which was in my room)) and that was when I punched a fence...) I also remembered (After talking to him.) standing on the curb, watching a car come down the street, and planning to jump out in front of it, but that little voice once again said ( Imagine the voice of the conceunce in block head) Don't do that... It's stupid.

The reason for this fucked up night? THC Is a mild Hallucinagenic which can have large effects on someone who has either had seizures, experiences seizures, or is at risk for them, and also large effects on someone who has never smoked enough to build an immunity.

TL;DR Fucked up night, Quit weed.

Posted by Minty-Hippo - November 15th, 2009

It was wet outside.

Dreary, the kind of night bad shit usually goes down. I knew this, because I watched horror movies.
Not to mention, the night my parents died, was also a wet, rainy, dreary night. Fog was rolling in heavy from the hills. Bad shit usually rolls in from the hills, this would of course, be no exception.

My brother, told me to stay by the radio, let him know if the storm was clearing, he of course, was going out to storm prove the roof. Only my stupid ass brother would storm proof a house, in the middle of... yes you guessed it, A storm. Give this man a million dollars, he just won the grand prize.

Of course, the fact that we needed to storm proof the house, wasn't evidence the house sucked. This was an amazing house, 6 bedrooms, 2 baths, and a large rumpus room in the basement, that my dad used to go downstairs in with his buddies, drink beer, watch cheaply produced pornos, and cat call at my mom for more beer from the stairs. Of course, that was all over now, so to me, this house is only 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, and one bath. Me and my brothers rooms are adjoining, the bathroom in the middle, in the morning, we like to go in there, and brush our teeth together, he is much older than me of course, so he also shaves, and I am usually downstairs before him. When I get down there, he expects me to pack lunch before we leave, seeing as how he made breakfast first.

He is at this very moment, nailing lengths of metal sheeting to the roof, this is going to be a bad storm, and he figures we can spend a few months with our house looking ugly as hell if it means we make it thru this particular night.... or atleast he should be. I should at this moment, hear the thudding of the hammer, on the metal sheeting, that obnoxious thudding. You know that feeling you get when someone scratches there nails down a chalkboard? That feeling ran up my spine right when I noticed I couldn't hear him.

To be honest, I thought, if he fell, I would hear him, you know, the same way I would hear those metal sheets being banged into place by a hammer. Then it thundered, and I jumped. I screamed a little as well. I ran outside also. Bad move.

It was unfolding itself, just as I ran out there. Or at least, I think it was. At least it's the best way I can describe it. It's arms at first just the right size, began to expand, and not in the normal way either, if arms ever normally expand, there's folded out, like a switch blade from it's sheath, slowly and with a sickening cracking sound, I could even hear over the storm. I prayed to god at that moment, that it was storming. I would not like to hear it ever again with no storm to mask it.

It turned towards me, and I almost shat myself, it's bottom jaw, was extended a few inches from the top. A few more inches than normal. It let loose a weak croaking, that began to increase, in both volume and rhythm. I saw this movie once, with a little girl that came out of the television to kill people, and there was this noise it made sometimes, it reminded me a lot of that, except not in a movie, and this seemed to vibrate thru me, like my bones were being rattled like a xyla-phone.

It stared at me for a few moments, it's eyes the color of powdered sulfur, it's teeth, were impecably white, yet, something in my mind told me they were dark red, and stained in blood. That of my brother, and my own. It wore no clothing, but did not need to, it seemed perfect in it's own way with out them so why force it to wear clothing at all? My mind was running thru thousands of possibilities, run, turn around, run to the house, just remember to close the door behind you Jimmy, remember, that's how the wolf got into the house that ate dad.

My dad got in an accident.

A car crash, he was driving a red van, my mom was in the other car, they were messing around, being silly, my dad was on the phone, telling her how much he loved her, they decided to mess around, play chicken. That was there thing, they do something exciting and dangerous, then come home, lock themselves in there room, and shake the entire house. I don't think god would approve of that.

It's hard to have sex when half of YOUR stomach is in a wolves stomach.
Maybe, if I close my eyes hard enough, I can turn away from it, something is stopping me from just totally turning around, running back into the house. I hear a loud hum, it grows stronger, and resonates thru my head, the glass panes in the windows begin to shake and rumble. But it is still there in my head.

Jimmy, the wolves are coming.

Little pig, Little pig. Let me in.

I look at the thing before me and smile, I turn towards the door, and open it. It followed me in, carrying my brother behind it. One of it's claws stuck thru it's chest, and wrapped back along it's spine, it was using my brothers spine like a handle.

I saw my mother carrying a purse once, the handle was duck taped, it kind of reminded me then and there, that we really couldn't afford the house we lived in, Part of the reason the wolves got in, we just couldn't keep up on it could we? Some day the bank has to come, look you in the eye, and say. Were sorry sir, Were repo-ing the house. That's when they let in the wolves, they do it when your asleep jimmy.

I know it's not your real name Karl, But Jimmy was my first. your just my left overs, my rebound. get used to that, because your brother didn't get it.

The angels are coming Jimmy. Close the door, before I let the wolves in.

Posted by Minty-Hippo - November 2nd, 2009

I have recently become incurably bored nothing sparks my interest, and unfortunantly, I am low on cash, send me some links for fun flash games, I will play anything, but please, nothing that has ever been on Newground's front page or Armor Games or Kongregate, chances are I played it already.

Posted by Minty-Hippo - August 16th, 2009

i am working on aLP for System Shock 2, check the Video games Forum on Newgrounds for More info.

Posted by Minty-Hippo - May 12th, 2009

Play DOH!

YEs, Thats right I will be eating Play Doh this time around.

First I will read to you all, the packaging.

Notice to Parents: Contains Wheat.

To be honest This makes me feel alittle better about eating it, know it contains an actual food item. I think I'd feel bad reading it and it saying, Warning to parents: contains 20% more arsanic.

Well, Unfortunantly my camera is still broken. So I will only be able to describe for you what it looks and tastes like.

This play-doh in particular is blue. So I think I will make it look like a little raspberry, maybe I can trick myself into thinking it tastes like blue raspberry or some shit.

By the way, I love the smell of play-doh, and apparently, so do alot of other people hence why they went as far as to make play-doh scented perfume. No lies.

hmm.. I was never very good working with play-doh so it looks more like an amorpheus blob than a delectable raspberry. Lets just hope it tastes better then it looks.

Ok, Wish me luck.

Ew, God it tastes salty, and theres this weird burning sensation in my mouth, almost like they made it taste horrible so little kids won't eat it.
Oh god I have to spit it out.


Ok kids, I have one message for you. Don't ever eat play-doh, no matter how delicious looking you can make it look. it still tastes like shit. Agh god, I had to end up chewing on toilet paper to get the taste out of my mouth.

Ok, God damn that was gross, Well See you guys next time.

By the way, I am now taking suggestions on weird things for me to eat, remember they have to be edible, and not gonna kill me, think of it this way, If I die how am I gonna eat more stupid things for you to laugh at?

Posted by Minty-Hippo - April 26th, 2009

Guess what I'm going to drink? Emer'gen C'Energy Supplement Drink Mix.

Thats right. I am drinking it, This has been drifting around my house for 2 years, and was donated to my dad in afghanistan 3 years ago. That means, This particular packet of Emer'Gen C has been around for almost 3 years, and has spent almost a year of that in Afghanistan, Who knows how long it had been there. Not to mention what vile effects the harsh desert heat have had on it's contents.

So, Lets get started, As a Teaser I will read the "Synapsis" On the back for you guys, I am sorry, but my Camera is broken, or else I would provide pics for you guys.

But, Expect more Guess what I'm going to Eat/Drink from me soon.

So heres the Synapsis.Directions: As a Dietary Supplement. (As opposed to a re-usable energy supplement)
Take Two, or More Packages Dailey, As required. Place contents in Glass and add 4 oz to 6 oz of water, 32 mineral complexes instantly form.

To be honest I don't like the Thoughts of 32 mineral Complexes forming in my glass, let alone instantly, I mean to be honest God Created the earth in a day and all, but apparently Alacer Corp. Can create 32 minerals in less then 1 minute. Or atleast what ever time frame instantly occupies.

Oh yeah, Time to read the front.

Super Energy Booster!

Emer'gen-C (r)

1,000 mg Vitamin C
(In small print) as seven mineral ascorbates

32 mineral complexes
and B vitamins

Just Add Water!

TO be honest I was always a little weary of anything marketing, Just add water ever since that episode of the Loony Toons where Marvin had alien armies where he just added water.

Ok I am adding the Mix now.

The mix is a pale yellow. and smells of urine.

The mix, is starting to fizz, and form little continents of un-saturated mix, I guess this is what they mean by instantly form Minerals.

The Continent shapes like a lop-sided penis just bumped into the continent shaped like a tit, and they both became very... uh... Saturated... Now there is one, The small thing that looks more like a mole then a major land mass. Good thing I brought a fork for mixing.

It has stopped fizzing, I was hoping this would be some sort of carbonated mix, atleast I hoped the bubbles would block out my senses from tasting anything else.

Ok, I am going to drink it now.

Agh, It tastes like water, but like really grainy water, like your ex-wife is trying to spike your drink with something to kill you, but all she could find was calcium and a little roadside gravel. The Drink Certainly has a light Tangerine scent, I actually like the smell of the drink.

The Taste though, at first was just a little bit to mineral like, a little gritty, but not offensive, but now, as I reach the bottom of the cup, The solution that somehow drifted to the bottom, even after vigorous stirring tastes horrible, A lot like orange flavored candy, dropped in the sand.

For some odd reason my head is feeling really dizzy, I think I might end up, up chucking this... I will make a new post if I do. Just for Newgrounds.

Posted by Minty-Hippo - April 1st, 2009

I feel Exalted we are all part of the Peoples Republic of China. I think we should all take guns to the american swine, Up with China, Down with U.s.a.

Posted by Minty-Hippo - December 25th, 2008

Thats right kids, It's time for season 2 of everyones favorite t.v. show, yes yes I know what your thinking, but daddy, will you still try to touch me while I watch it?

My answer? Yes, now take off your shirt.

So, That's right, where was I? Oh yes, I had just molested you, and traumatized your parents. Now I think I shall rape your cat. Where is that damned cat at? Here kitty kitty kitty! Oh I remember now, You know those sloppy joes you ate? Well I poisoned them, and the poor cat got into it. So he died, oh and thats why you shat yourself after I raped you. Ok well I'm done for now, SUICIDE

Posted by Minty-Hippo - September 17th, 2008

1. I never post in my News Posts.... Wait...
2. I never Smoke.
3. I never consider another persons feelings when I post, Unless of course it's something like, I wonder if this will get them REALLY mad.
4. I never poop outside.
5. I never Pee in the shower.
6. I never Pet the Dog when I'm about to eat something
7. I never stop telling my Girlfriend I love her... This is getting on her nerves of course, Especially when she's falling asleep, and I wake her up just to tell her I love her.
8. I never hurry, That means I will never run up the stairs to grab your pants just because your phones ringing, and I won't run into the house because I'm late for an interview and forgot a belt.
9. I never do anything right with out being told how to do it step by step.
10. I never post a topical last item on a list of things. Fuck, Guess I lost here...
11. Nevermind I win.
12. Fish tacos.

Posted by Minty-Hippo - August 7th, 2008

1. When someone tells you to be quiet, like late at night, when people are sleeping, so you go to them and try to talk quietly but they keep yelling What? WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! It's like... God damnit, You told me to be fucking Quiet..
2. When you ask some one a question, like hmm, I wonder what the heaviest object on earth is, per mass. And they say Earth Duh. and you just... ugh they ruined your conversation based question.
3. When your Writing something, and it gets REALLY REALLY good, and then.. You lose your inspiration and your left with this rising climax of story, and then you write stuff like, and then he got milk out of the fridge and yada-yada becuase you just need to write.
4. When people think your ideas are stupid, just becuase they didn't have the idea, then 10 minutes later they have the same idea and talk about how cool it is.